Recently someone from my past reached out to me with a kind gesture. This came as a pleasant surprise and left me wondering if they were acting on President Nelson’s invitation at General Conference to end a conflict in our personal lives:
“My call today, my dear brothers and sisters, is to end the conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life. Bury any and all inclinations to hurt others—whether those inclinations be a temper, a sharp tongue, or resentment for someone who has hurt you. … We are followers of the Prince of Peace. Now more than ever, we need the peace only He can bring. How can we expect peace to exist in the world when we are not individually seeking peace and harmony?”
I, too, have conflict in my personal life that needs to be resolved.
Perhaps it is no coincidence that I came upon the story of Saul and Ananais in Acts 9 this week.
This story is incomprehensible to me.
Saul had been breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord (vs 1).
As he was on his way to Damascus, with the intention of finding men and women in the synagogues, binding them, and returning them to Jeruselum (vs 2), he fell to the earth after seeing a light and hearing the voice of the Lord (vs 3-4).
Now without sight, he was led by friends back to Damascus, where he spent three days without food or drink (vs 8-9).
The Lord, in a vision, asked a certain disciple at Damascus, named Ananias, to visit Saul (vs) 10).
Ananias was quick to remind the Lord of the evil that had been done by Saul (11).
The Lord does not relent, but instead asks Ananias to go heal Saul of his blindness, for he “is a chosen vessel unto me” (vs 15).
As difficult as it is for me to comprehend how Ananais had the courage to seek out this evil man Saul (vs 17), I was left completely stunned by the first two words out of Ananais’s mouth as he came face to face with “the evil one”:
“Brother Saul”
Given the circumstances of his day, how was Ananias able to so willingly do as the Lord commanded? How was this story able to go from one extreme to the other–from fear and evil to forgiveness—in only 17 short verses? I’ve been pondering these questions all week. Why? Because forgiveness is hard, yet Ananais made it look so easy.
Ananias went on to heal Saul of his blindness, Saul was immediately baptized, the Lord changed Saul’s name to Paul, and you likely know the rest of the story.
The entire story is a miracle, but the part of the story that won’t leave my mind is the part where Ananias went his way, entered Saul’s house, put his hands on him, and said, “Brother Saul”.
He called him Brother.
To me, that is the biggest miracle of all.
I have the desire to follow Ananais’s example and President Nelson’s counsel:
“If forgiveness presently seems impossible, plead for power through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ to help you. As you do so, I promise a personal peace and a burst of spiritual momentum.”
Unfortunately, I’m not quite there yet. The ability to offer complete forgiveness seems out of my realm.
I’m still learning.
Until I am able to become like Ananais in the way of discipleship, I will keep those two words of his—those two incomprehensible-yet-entirely-possible-through-the-Atonement-of-Jesus-Christ words—in the back of my mind as an ever-present reminder of the miracle of forgiveness.
Brother Saul.
Image Credit: Ananais Finds Saul
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