A Stick-In-The-Mud

My goal in life is to remain a “stick-in-the-mud”.

Let me explain.

Some time ago, I heard someone express the following:

“I’m a member of the church, but I’m no stick-in-the-mud.”

What does that even mean? I wondered.

I’ve reflected on that statement over the past weeks, and, though I am unsure of the speaker’s original intent, their statement brought to my mind the following thoughts:

Stick-In-The-Mud Definitions

Oxford Dictionary: a person who is dull and unadventurous and who resists change
The term “stick in the mud” is not found in the 1828 version of Webster’s dictionary, so I resorted to using a definition of ‘dull’: Heavy; sluggish; without life or spirit.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary: one who is slow, old-fashioned, or unprogressive; especially : an old fogy

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An Initial Analysis

After reviewing the definitions, I discovered that I just may actually be ‘a stick in the mud’, depending on which definition you use. If referencing the Oxford or 1828 versions, I am definitely NOT a ‘stick in the mud’, for I do not consider myself to be dull, unadventurous, heavy, sluggish, or without life. And I certainly wouldn’t consider myself to be without spirit.

The Merriam-Webster definition, on the other hand, nearly describes me with perfection, for I very much consider myself to be:

slow (to follow the crowd)
old-fashioned (in the opinion of the world)
unprogressive (to the ways of the world)
an old fogy (to those who don’t agree with my choices)

So there you have it! I am a member of the church and a stick-in-the-mud.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Natural Man

How exactly did I come to be a “stick-in-the-mud”, you may be wondering? Well, it has everything to do with my attempt to rid myself of the ‘natural man’ and bring myself closer to God.

I’ve got to warn you, however, that being a “stick-in-the-mud” is not for the faint of heart.

It demands sacrifice.

It requires courage.

It takes a willingness to stand alone.

It’s not easy.

Personal Examples

Let me give you a few personal examples:

As a “stick-in-the-mud”, I find it difficult to relax in the same way others relax. Take watching movies or TV shows, for instance. While many enjoy spending a relaxing evening in front of the television, I have a difficult time doing so on a regular basis.

Sure, my children and I enjoy a good, carefully selected, movie at home once or twice a week, but these aren’t just any movies.

After spending years eliminating certain things from our home entertainment, including movies with language, sex, and violence, I found myself resensitized to the things I had once become desensitized to. Anything that was offensive to the Spirit was now uncomfortable to me.

This change has brought wonderful blessings into our lives, but has caused some problems socially. It has also interfered with my family’s ability to relax in ‘normal’ and ‘culturally acceptable’ ways.

For instance:

My teenage children have been openly criticized, even at a church functions, for being unfamiliar with culturally popular movies, books, and music, and I have been openly criticized for my views on popular television and book series.

A Weakened Resolve

It is not easy to be in the minority and, occasionally, my resolve weakens.

After standing stalwartly for so long, resisting the crowd, and missing out on the “relaxation time” that others seem to enjoy on a regular basis, there have been times when I’ve caved to the social pressures of the world.

There have been times when I have just wanted to relax in front of a good movie and not have to worry if it has anything in it that will offend the Spirit.

Here are three times when I did just that:

Girls’ Night Out

One week, my mom and sisters came from out-of-town to visit. We researched movies and found one in a nearby theater that looked interesting and unoffensive.

While in the theater, after becoming enthralled in the story line, the main character said one of the worst swear words imaginable (in my opinion). I shuttered, but was determined not to be the one (yet again!) to walk out of the theater first. After all, can’t a girl just relax and watch a movie for a change?

I remained in my seat, acting oblivious to the offensive language that was now flowing on screen, and said nothing.

A quarter of an hour passed and I was even deeper into the story line when there was another onslaught of language. This time, my mom and sisters leaned over and whispered, “Should we leave?” I nodded, and we left the theater.

But I was angry! Why is it so difficult in our culture to be able to relax in front of a movie without one’s Spirit being offended?

Where is the quality entertainment that enriches, not detracts from, the soul?

I had been determined not to be the “party-pooper” by leaving the theater first, but, in the end, wound up being disappointed in myself when my family shared that they were surprised to see me just sit through the language in the movie.

No amount of relaxation, I told myself, is worth the loss of the Spirit. I was determined to never let this happen again.

But I did.

A Recommended Series

One night, as I prepared for bed, I thought, “I just want to be able to watch something entertaining tonight (versus the inspirational media I usually opt for).”

I had heard much talk from friends and acquaintances about a new TV series, so I pulled it up on my ipad and watched the first episode. It was amazing, and I quickly found myself attached to the characters and storyline.

During the second episode, however, something in the show made me feel uncomfortable (the loss of the Spirit) so, despite the difficulty in walking away from the characters and storyline, I decided to stop watching the series.

Some time later, after learning that a well-respected member of our community enjoys watching that series each week with his family, I decided to give it another go. After all, if trusted people I know watch it, it must be okay.

I did my best to sit through another episode, for I really wanted this relaxation time, but there came a moment when I could no longer justify my actions. What was taking place in the episode was morally inappropriate and I did not like the feeling I was feeling. I have no judgment against the individuals who recommend it for watching it, but I knew that I could not. This time, I was sure I would never let something like this happen again.

But I did.

Round 2

Just this weekend, I was in need of some down time, so I looked up a television series on Amazon Prime that had been recommended to me. The first episode was incredible and, once again, I found myself quickly attached to the characters and storyline.

Unfortunately, Episode Two had some language in it, but rather than stop watching, I just hit the mute button. At least this way I could watch the story unfold, even if I couldn’t hear it.

Things were going well with my justification process (the movie won’t detract from the Spirit if I can’t hear what they’re saying, right?), until the next episode, which included a bedroom scene.

OFF went the series, and ON went my determination to never let this happen again!

I have grown accustomed to being uncomfortable around anything that offends the Spirit, and I don’t want to do anything to change that.

My Final Analysis

Will I mess up again in the future? Probably.

But it will just serve as a reminder that a little relaxation and entertainment (be it TV, movies, books, or music) is never worth losing even one ounce of the Spirit.

A Constant Companion

Spencer J. Condie shares,

“In modern revelation, the Lord provides us with a strategy or formula for retaining the gift of the Holy Ghost so that the Comforter may abide with us continually:

‘Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

‘The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever’” (D&C 121:45–46; italics added).

Dare To Be Different

Allowing virtue to garnish one’s thoughts unceasingly is impossible for those who take part in popular world culture.

Dare to be different.

Dare to raise the bar.

Dare to be virtuous in a world that shuns virtue.

Strive to rid yourself of the “natural man”.

Yes, being a “stick-in-the-mud” demands sacrifice.

Yes, it requires courage.

It takes a willingness to stand alone, and it is definitely not always easy.

But I can promise you that it is so worth it!

“…in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.” ~ President Russell M. Nelson