Annoying People

Annoying people.

They’re everywhere.

According to this book, I’m one of them.

Unfortunately, so are you.

I figure either the Big Boom made a complete MESS of things here on earth, as far as people are concerned,

the Creator knew EXACTLY what He was doing when He created us to be completely different from one another, often in the most aggravating and annoying ways.

He may be full of wisdom, but sometimes I can’t, for the life of me, understand His line of reasoning.

Perhaps if he knew just how much I dislike conflict and its accompanying symptoms–

low energy

headaches

upset stomach

tense muscles

chest pain

rapid heartbeat

insomnia

constant worrying

racing thoughts

inability to focus

poor judgement

–He would have rethought His plan to create personalities that are destined to conflict with one another.

Because conflict is bad, right?!

Of course!

Well, maybe not…

Check out these TEN CONFLICT MYTHS, as noted in the book “How To Deal With Annoying People”. I found the information regarding all ten myths to be enlightening, but Myth #10 is definitely my favorite!

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Myth #1: All Conflict Is Bad

“Conflict often arises when the rights of one person or a group are violated. Accepting the violation does not settle the issue. The violation needs to be discussed and resolved, if possible. This brings about conflict that may result in positive change. Conflict can be positive:

* Conflict can increase the motivation of both individuals and groups to learn to get along with each other.

* Conflict can be responsible for increased creativity and problem-solving.

* Conflict can help individuals or a group draw together, seeking mutual goals.

* Conflict can lead to understanding and the clearing up of miscommunication.

* Conflict can help both individuals and groups to grow.

In the Book of Galations, Paul describes how he opposed Peter face-to-face because, as Paul describes, Peter was clearly in the wrong. Paul was not afraid to address conflict in the church, and often encouraged and admonished other people to do the same.”

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Myth #2 Conflict Damages Relationships

“…conflict can damage or destroy a relationship. It is also true that conflict can unify relationships when misunderstanding is cleared up. Unresolved conflict is what destroys relationships. Conflict handled in a constructive manner can actually enhance relationships.”

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Myth #3: Conflict Should Never Be Escalated

“Sometimes conflict must be escalated before a resolution can be reached. It helps to force the issue and bring it to a point of resolution. The conflict itself becomes the catalyst that sets the needed change in motion.”

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Myth #4: All Conflict Is Just a Personality Problem

“The fact is, everyone will face conflicts or will start conflicts with other people….personality only add[s] to the intensity of the conflict.”

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Myth #5: All Conflict Should Be Reduced or Avoided

“…conflict is a universal human experience. Conflict is going to come our way whether we like it or not.”

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Myth #6: Conflict Indicates Psychological Problems

“Conflict is normal between all people, not just between those with psychological problems.”

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Myth #7: Harmony Is Normal and Conflict Is Abnormal

“This concept does not even touch the reality of life. Those who cannot or will not deal with conflict usually suggest that harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal. It is not a pleasant experience to confront anyone. When people find their anger and fear rising to the surface, it makes them uncomfortable. Rather than facing their emotions or the emotions of other people, they run away from conflict. They withdraw, avoid, and shun conflict situations or conflict-producing people. To help reinforce their fear, they suggest that harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal. This is used as a technique to get other people to conform to their way of thinking since it suggests that you must not be normal if you are involved in conflict. The truth is that harmony is possible and conflict is normal.”

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Myth #8: If I Ignore the Conflict, It Will Go Away

“Some people choose to ignore conflict and assume it will go away. When you ignore conflict, it merely grows. Facing conflict and learning constructive ways to resolve conflict is much healthier than ignoring conflict.”

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Myth #9: Genuine Conflict Is About Facts and Not About Emotions

“There are those who endeavor to separate facts from emotions in conflict situations. They suggest that only the facts are important. [However]…emotions are the thermometer that indicates the intensity of the conflict.”

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Myth #10: Conflict Is a Sign That People Do Not Care

“Nothing could be further from the truth. Conflict is a sign that people DO genuinely care. Their emotional attachment to the issues is a sign that they have deep concerns about the problems at hand. Their willingness to confront the issues, knowing that this confrontation can result in tension, shows they care.”

Jesus went head-to-head with various groups and individuals on a variety of issues, not because He did not care about them, but precisely because He did care.

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The book “How To Deal With Annoying People” suggests four Social Styles, each with its own strengths and weaknesses:

Analytical

Driver

Amiable

Expressive

“The strengths of the annoying people in your life can complement your weaknesses, if you will allow them to. Since you are one of those annoying people, your strengths can also serve to complement the weaknesses of other people.

We can all learn and grow as a result of the interaction we have with other people.”

And perhaps THAT is what the Creator had in mind all along.